Sometimes I just wish I had more asses to tell people to kiss.
Lord: We're grateful that our families haven't found us on Twitter & that donkeys can't talk. That'd be embarrassing for many of us. Amen.
Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it f#%#$ you.
Been on hold so long I can't remember who I called. I have a credit
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