Rapture Based Funny Twitter Status Updates

Joshua
Reporting from the Rapture: Jesus rides a unicorn and farts double rainbows. You guys are gonna freaking LOVE him
Remember Ladies, your body is a temple, not a theme park.
I bet all the other animals in the animal kingdom hate dogs because they get credit for the most popular sexual position ever!
It's Saturday and I'm single. I should be getting pounded and pleasured.
I like to think that

Bea Binene Twitter

Tweets:

I want Choco-Flavored Bibingcrepe sooooop badly! :/ 1 week na tong craving ko na to.. 3:36 AM Apr 6th via Twitter for iPhone 

G'Morning! CB Taping today. Sana wala akong masyadong Fight Scenes ngayon. Ang sakit pa ng katawan ko from Training nung Tuesday e. Hehe. :) 7:53 PM Mar 30th via Twitter for iPhone 

Nawrong send ako, shonga! Haha! 2:33 AM Mar 29th via Twitter for iPhone 

OMG, Miley Cyrus' going to Manila? :D 11:57 AM Mar 28th via web 

Follow Bea Binene on Twitter

Kim Atienza Twitter Account

"bakla" is from ancient filipino alibata. "ba" means feminine and "la" is masculine. RT @joygutierrez28 @arnellignacio BAKLA!!!!!!!!!!! about 2 hours ago via Twitterrific

they can always break your heart, but never your spirit. continue to love. RT @jhunnieconchi you give me a love quote for broken hearted? 12:34 AM Apr 11th via Twitterrific

just finished a 7k run. the endorphins are making me scream. i'm sooooooo poooogiii! life is soooo goooood! i love this life! 8:16 PM Apr 10th via Twitterrific

my mantra for today. di masakit ang legs ko, di masakit ang legs ko, di masakit ang legs ko... 4:19 PM Apr 10th via Twitterrific

Follow kuya Kim Atienza on twitter

James Younghusband on Twitter

Phil Younghusband is adorable and CHAROT! But I've always had my eyes set on the younger Younghusband




Just arrived at the first day of TYFA's summer school :D great to see lots of kids!!
7 Apr

@santi_luv_JYH53 haha we had to carry all our bags and equipment through Tokyo's subways and jump over the boxes at the escalators
13 Mar

Liking this take your shoes off in public places thing. Makes me feel right at home :)
9 Mar

@mollytri hi Molly! I'm good thanks! I'll be spending v day with my mum and little sister x
11 Feb

What a fantastic night!!!!!!!!!! A win against Mongolia. We did the job. Just wish we could of scored more goals :(

10 Feb

Take one for the team! Follow James Younghusband on twitter

Phil Younghusband on Twitter

Can't get enough of Team Azkals? Come get yourself a gorgeous Younghusband on twitter!




mas masipag ako kay james kasi he he :p
5 Apr

World cup qualifier - Philippines vs Sri Lanka. Game in Philippines july 3 :)
30 Mar

@vilmadupaya I have the younghusband football academy balls he can have :)
28 Mar

I want to pack my football boots, fly to Myanmar and play :(

23 Mar

Score a goal and follow Phil Younghusband on twitter

Zsa Zsa Padilla on Twitter

Ang importante, natapos namin ang pelikula. Ito na marahil ang huli nyang pelikula. Sana naman, lalo na at magpapasko na, ipamasko mo na 
12:19 PM Dec 20th via web

Went to the salon in my chinelas only to discover 2 manicurists are absent and the rest are fully booked. #manicurefail 
12/16/2010 6:18:48 PM via Twittelator

I cooked noodles which actually tasted blah- low sodium. Good for my kidneys. But then couldn't resist the chili sauce. Now, I'm perspiring! 
12:12 AM Dec 16th via web

Stuck at home coz I can't drive. :( That should make a good new year's resolution: learn to drive! 
11:37 PM Dec 14th via Twittelator

Passing by grocery to buy ingredients for chiken adobo with liver for @anakarylle She's been working too hard her BP a bit low. I'll cook it 
5:11 AM Dec 1st via Twittelator

So like my character in "Minsan lang kita Iibigin". That's a miracle RT @ANCALERTS Pregnant woman survives 24 stab wounds http://ow.ly/3fEk1 
11/26/2010 11:53:24 AM via Twittelator

Brought Dolphy Indian vegan food from where I ate. Some thanksgiving we have. No, Virginia. I didn't mean Native American Indian. 
7:46 AM Nov 25th via web

Follow Zsa Zsa Padilla on Twitter

Dimples Romana Twitter Account

time to spend golden time with my hubby and baby ;) 
12/19/2010 5:59:55 PM via web

I've always loved the scenes of ate mylene with Kathryn and ping with Kathryn.. I feel very honored working with great actors.. 
8:36 AM Dec 15th via Twitter for iPad

would like to thank REVLON for my photoready make up and hazelnut shade of Colorburst collection im now using on Mara Clara ;) 
7:56 AM Dec 8th via web

Check out soap opera fave Dimples Romana on Twitter