- Hear about the word Twitter. Hmm
- Hear the word again from somewhere else. Hmm again.
- Hear about famous celebrity who is “On Twitter.” Hmm. Making mental note to take a look.
- Sign in on Facebook to comfort self.
- Create a Twitter account to try it.
- Gives up. Twitter seems boring and stupid.
- Talks down on Twitter.
- Follow @barackobama, @aplusk, @LadyGaga @jtimberlake @KimKardashian and @oprah, and two other people you actually know.
- Tweets something like: “Trying this Twitter thing.”
- Attempt to dig a little bit deeper into Twitter.
- Finds our some new words: “Tweet,” “Twitter,” “Retweet,” “Tweetdeck,” and something random called “RT.”
- Hmm again, this time in real confusion. Trying to figure out what "favoriting" a tweet means but no one knows.
- Tell the people you know that you “tried the Twitter thing, but did not get it. It’s boring and stupid anyway.”
- Sign in on Facebook because that site at least makes sense.
- Read story about Twitter somewhere.
- Sign in on Twitter to give it one more try.
- Try to avoid saying Tweet, Twitter, Retweet, Tweetdeck, and RT.
- Respond to a celebrity thinking that they will actually read your tweet.
- Curse self for fanning out.
- Log off for 4 month
- Come back, just to see.
- Post something relatively funny.
- Get RT’d.
- Discover that RT means ReTweet.
- Make it your life mission to get RT’d.
- Install Twitter app on your phone.
- No longer ashamed to say “I’ve gotta tweet that.”
- Attend events with the sole intention of “Tweeting” them.
- Pray to get RT’d.
- Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.
- Close computer.
- Open computer. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.
- Think in 140 character sentences.
- Compulsively check phone all day every day.
- Tweet that you compulsively check phone all day every day.
- Alienate actual people in your life in an attempt to impress ones you don’t know.
- Lose weight because you forget to eat.
- Place phone by bed so you can check first thing in the morning.
- Defend Twitter to the death from detractors.
- Hear self, and vaguely recognize that you have become “That Guy.”
- Feel like you should stop spending so much time on Twitter for real.
- Vow to quit Twitter to preserve sanity.
- Read this and change mind.
- Think to self, “I should tweet this.”
- Recognize irony.
- Tweeting it.
Anton Perlkvist, The Twitter Entrepreneur
Follow me on Twitter: TWITTER.COM/FUN
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