Rapture Based Funny Twitter Status Updates

Joshua
Reporting from the Rapture: Jesus rides a unicorn and farts double rainbows. You guys are gonna freaking LOVE him
Remember Ladies, your body is a temple, not a theme park.
I bet all the other animals in the animal kingdom hate dogs because they get credit for the most popular sexual position ever!
It's Saturday and I'm single. I should be getting pounded and pleasured.
I like to think that

Bea Binene Twitter

Tweets:

I want Choco-Flavored Bibingcrepe sooooop badly! :/ 1 week na tong craving ko na to.. 3:36 AM Apr 6th via Twitter for iPhone 

G'Morning! CB Taping today. Sana wala akong masyadong Fight Scenes ngayon. Ang sakit pa ng katawan ko from Training nung Tuesday e. Hehe. :) 7:53 PM Mar 30th via Twitter for iPhone 

Nawrong send ako, shonga! Haha! 2:33 AM Mar 29th via Twitter for iPhone 

OMG, Miley Cyrus' going to Manila? :D 11:57 AM Mar 28th via web 

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Kim Atienza Twitter Account

"bakla" is from ancient filipino alibata. "ba" means feminine and "la" is masculine. RT @joygutierrez28 @arnellignacio BAKLA!!!!!!!!!!! about 2 hours ago via Twitterrific

they can always break your heart, but never your spirit. continue to love. RT @jhunnieconchi you give me a love quote for broken hearted? 12:34 AM Apr 11th via Twitterrific

just finished a 7k run. the endorphins are making me scream. i'm sooooooo poooogiii! life is soooo goooood! i love this life! 8:16 PM Apr 10th via Twitterrific

my mantra for today. di masakit ang legs ko, di masakit ang legs ko, di masakit ang legs ko... 4:19 PM Apr 10th via Twitterrific

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